21 Comments

Wow, one of the best newsletters/pieces of writing advice I have ever read! The reason being: so many people really need to hear this, want to hear this from someone, and even those of us who already share some of your philosophies on "success" and writing too may not articulate it THIS well all of the time. This was SO well put, and you touched on SUCH important points. This should be published elsewhere too--spread the supportive, joyful message!

Thank you for sharing, Erin!

PS. I LOVE embracing the "fun" of writing when I write! I find it's SO much easier to write with "fun" when writing rather than editing, but I recently did some writing as part of the editing process and enjoyed it so much that it brought some feel-goodness back to the editing process. I wish this for fellow writer-editors too!

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Wow, thank you Marisa! I feel like I've been writing newsletters about success, publishing, and the mental tolls of writing/creating for so long, that perhaps I finally boiled it down to a really succinct and coherent post! Answering this reader question was really cathartic for me, and I'm glad so much of the piece resonated with you too. Thanks for the kind words.

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I love your posts, so thank you! I know it takes time and effort to find the words--even when they come naturally--and I appreciate that you do that and that you share these insights with us. I love that "writerly" feeling I get when I read your newsletter. Thank you!

"Cathartic"--I understand that. I recently realized that one of the reasons I've likely kept diaries since childhood is that it's soothing and helpful, to me, to write things down--to find the words!

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I cannot say how much I needed to read this post right this minute. Thank you for sharing it.

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I was tempted to say, "I'm so sorry you needed this" but at the same time, it's cyclical isn't it? I swear part of being a writer is falling in and out of love on a loop. It's inevitable. Either way, I'm glad this piece was timely for you, and here's hoping you fall back in love with writing again soon. 💗

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“faking it till we make it” - love that! And the whole piece; realistic and honest.

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Thanks for the kind words, and for taking the time to read!

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I've been a writer/editor for four decades — 13 years in newspapers, 12 in association/nonprofit publishing, five in school communications, and the last decade as a freelancer. Writing was the reason I got into journalism; editing was a way to pay the bills. Unfortunately, the two sides have a somewhat adversarial relationship that I've never been able to completely separate.

My editor side — a harsh, never satisfied critic — refuses to let my writer side turn in substandard work, which seems to squeeze the limited enjoyment I do take from it. As a result, writing for clients hasn't been "fun" for some time now. Often I feel like I'm "faking it" — checking the boxes on the to-do task list (nut graph here, quote there, transition somewhere). I recognize the formula works; my clients are satisfied with limited editing 99.9% of the time.

I started a photography business when I went out on my own because it presented/presents an interesting creative challenge that writing for clients no longer seems to bring. I find that I'm most satisfied creatively when I can merge the two.

This was a much needed reminder, and one I truly appreciate. Thank you.

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I can relate to having a harsh editor side; it's another reason why the fun can get sucked out of the process. I have to fight really hard to turn off my editor brain in the early stages of a project (eg: brainstorming, drafting).

Glad the post was a timely reminder for you. Thanks for reading/commenting!

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Nov 28, 2023Liked by Erin Bowman

This was an awesome post to read. Something I tried recently was writing fanfiction. I was so burnt out from “failing” at writing with the intent to publish, I actually did say “fuck it” and started writing some short fanfics instead. Taking away the burden of “I’m trying to sell this” helped me so much! I was just writing something I was really passionate about for fun again.

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Yes, fanfic is a GREAT way to just have fun and rekindle the joy. (When I was feeling really burned out a few years ago, I basically wrote fanfic of my own novel, drafting a story about what happens for two main characters after the close of VENGEANCE ROAD. I had so much stinking fun. It was low pressure. It was joyous! And later down the line, I was able to clean up that novella a bit and offer it to readers as a goodie/thank you if they preordered my next novel.)

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Thank you so much for this <3 Definitely needed to hear it.

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Thank you! So glad the post was beneficial for you.

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Nov 28, 2023Liked by Erin Bowman

Don't mind me crying into my coffee because I needed this today. Thank you, Jessie, for asking the difficult question, and thank you, Erin, for your thoughtful response. There are so many other entities ready to strip the joy from my writing, I don't know why I do this to myself.

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“Why do I do this to myself?” is a question I ask at least once a week. 😂

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I have found so much joy recently in writing by working on projects I don't "care" about as much.

I'm working on a book right now that is meant to be pure fun, and I don't feel like I'm constantly failing in living up to the emotional/narrative ideals I usually have built up in my head for how I want my book to affect a reader. I've even been writing PLAYS in collaboration with a local grassroots theater group, and surprising myself by how much creativity I have when I'm not telling myself "no" constantly. It's brought back the enjoyment and puzzle-solving of writing.

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I'm not surprised at all how writing plays in a collab is helping. I've also done a collab thing recently and found it so freeing and joyous for the same reason. It brought back the joy of writing and creative problem solving, without it having the same pressure as a book in my name that I'm hoping to sell to a pub. (It really is true that the less you "care," the less pressure and the more fun. How do I get myself to care less about my solo projects?! 😂)

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Such good advice. One thing I've noticed in recent years is how my 'success goalposts' are constantly moving. The idea of finishing a novel was the epitome of success for me for a long time. Then I finished one, and felt like I'd only really be successful if I found an agent. Then I found an agent and felt like I'd truly be able to consider myself a success if I got a book deal (preferably with a big advance). Then my book found a publisher (though not so much the big advance) and I felt like true success would come when it started selling loads of copies. And now that it has sold an extremely modest number of copies and passed under most people's radars, I feel like a failure, even though by my standards of two years ago I'm a huge success. And so what I figure this must mean is that people are feeling this way all the way up the chain. Authors with big advances probably feel like failures when their books don't make the top ten. Authors who make the top ten probably feel like failures when their books inevitably drop back down the charts again. It's such an oversaturated market and there will always, always be someone to judge yourself unfavourably against, no matter what your level of apparent success.

Also - I LOVE that notion of 'putting a barcode on your art'. It really encapsulates a book's transmutation from something precious and entirely yours into something for others, to be judged in large part on its commercial potential. It's brutal trying to be an artist under capitalism.

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Yes, *constantly* moving goalposts. We're almost never satisfied. Speaking from personal experience, after a few tough years struggling to sell a next book, I've begun saying "I just want to sell!" but I also know that if/when that happens, my goalposts will immediately shift to something bigger.

And yes, I think the higher you are on the success ladder, the farther you have to fall. If your book hit at #5 last time but only hits at #10 for your followup, that might feel like a step down the ladder rungs even though to most people it's a whopping success. This career is such a mind game!

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Thank you for adding some great perspectives to my list of coping mechanisms.

My I share one as well?

My favorite way to escape the feeling of failure is to read Stephen King's On Writing. He talks about failure a lot.

Or, I watch YouTube videos of other amazing writers talk about the exact thing we are going through.

It really helps me to remember the greats walk the same path.

Hope you all can get back to your writing, we need it real bad.

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Thank you for adding to the list! I love King's On Writing, too. I'm also a big fan of Austin Kleon's Steal Like an Artist and Keep Going, which are both about creating in general, not just writing, but they always brighten my mood. It's very cathartic to read about other writers' struggles and the ebb and flow of their creative processes; makes me feel less alone!

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