If you write, you're a writer
How I answered a tough question from my nine-year-old
Recently, my nine-year-daughter abruptly turned to me and asked, “Mom, are you still a writer?”
If you’ve been following me a while, you know I’m in a bit of a dry spell.1 It’s extended long enough that my kids are now picking up on it. After all, I recently “went back to work,” and they are noticing all the changes that come with that, mainly how this new day job has shifted the type of work I do, and when.
But back to my daughter’s question…
She didn’t ask it with malicious intent—it was simply blunt and inquisitive—but it felt like a dagger to the heart.
I thought for a moment about how to answer, because I knew that she was listening carefully. She knows writing is my dream, and how parents talk to their children about dreams (or anything, really) matters. Kids internalize a lot.
In the end, I told her, “Of course I’m still a writer, I’m just not actively publishing right now.” I went on to explain that even if I don’t have an upcoming book release on my schedule, I’m still writing. And perhaps I will publish again in the future—that’s definitely my hope—but the outcome won’t change the fact that I am a writer.
I sit down and I write, so I’m a writer. It really is that simple.
She nodded, quietly working this over, and then the topic rapidly shifted to something completely unrelated. Probably Pokemon or what time softball practice was or when we could next go to the library. I don’t quite remember.
But the conversation lingered for me. I’ve been thinking about it for weeks.
I think the reason it stuck with me so much is because the last few years have been an emotional rollercoaster for me on the trad publishing front. I’ve battled back a lot of negative voices, particular ones that pose the very same question that my nine-year-old asked me. But the thing about her asking it, rather than my own subconscious, was that I had to answer with kindness. The answer was delivered with a sort of care, honesty, optimism, and encouragement that I rarely manage when speaking to myself. I realized that this was the first time I’d spoken gently about the state of my career in, well, years. I was speaking to my daughter, the nine-year-old, but also to my own inner nine-year-old.
And once I had to explain things in a way that would make sense to a child it really became quite straightforward.
I keep choosing to sit down and write. So I’m a writer.
If you keep sitting down and writing, you too are a writer.
Heck, even if we take some time away from our writing, that doesn’t remove “writer” from our identity, so long as we eventually come back to it.
If you are doing the thing, you own the label. And in the case of writers, we don’t have to be earning money from our writing for that label to still apply. We also don’t need to have packed events or sell our movie rights or go on fancy tours or have special editions of our book. We don’t even need a book deal. Those things don’t make anyone a writer. They are part of a certain type of writing career, sure, but they aren’t necessary ingredients to be a writer.
To be a writer, all you need is an idea, a keyboard/notebook, and some time to tell your story. To be a writer, you simply need to write.
And when the writing gets tough, we’d all do well to speak to ourselves like we would to a friend; to address our inner nine-year-old with kindness and encouragement.
I needed this reminder a few weeks ago and I thought some of you might need it as well.
Signed, your fellow writer,
Erin Bowman is the critically acclaimed author of numerous books for children and teens, including the Taken Trilogy, Vengeance Road, Retribution Rails, the Edgar Award-nominated Contagion duology, The Girl and the Witch’s Garden, and Dustborn. A web designer turned author, Erin has always been invested in telling stories—both visually and with words. Erin lives in New Hampshire with her husband and children.
In terms of releasing traditionally published books. I’m working my butt off and have been super busy. I just don’t have any trad book news and haven’t for awhile.
When my second traditionally published novel and short story collection both came out in 2015, I really thought I’d broken through some barrier and that things would just keep getting even better. You mentioned things being a “roller coaster,” and that feels so accurate. I didn’t break through any barrier, and only nine years later am I realizing how naive it was of me to think a writing career would (or SHOULD) always be an upward slope. Even though I was writing and getting manuscripts finished, I wasted a lot of these past nine years letting insecurities eat away at me. During that time I moderated dozens of panels at writer events, and I can’t tell you how many times it was hard to stand in front of a crowd wondering why anyone should take me seriously as some expert to oversee those conversations and guide the discussion when my own career felt like it was going nowhere. Even now, I’m still trying to rewire my thinking.
I needed to hear this today - thank you!
xoxo,
Fellow Writer