When my second traditionally published novel and short story collection both came out in 2015, I really thought I’d broken through some barrier and that things would just keep getting even better. You mentioned things being a “roller coaster,” and that feels so accurate. I didn’t break through any barrier, and only nine years later am I realizing how naive it was of me to think a writing career would (or SHOULD) always be an upward slope. Even though I was writing and getting manuscripts finished, I wasted a lot of these past nine years letting insecurities eat away at me. During that time I moderated dozens of panels at writer events, and I can’t tell you how many times it was hard to stand in front of a crowd wondering why anyone should take me seriously as some expert to oversee those conversations and guide the discussion when my own career felt like it was going nowhere. Even now, I’m still trying to rewire my thinking.
Nope, it's never a steady uphill slope. Not even for the super successful writers out there. Hills and valleys always.
Thanks for sharing your experiences here, Bill. I have to continually work to "rewire" my thinking as you put it. It's funny; I never speak to friends the way I speak to myself. I'm definitely my own worse critic and I tend to hold myself to unrealistic expectations. (Clearly I'm not alone here.)
If you write, you are a writer, yes! But I think for traditionally published authors, particularly in kidlit and genre spaces and particularly with writers of marginalized identities, there is a pressure to be constantly creating and publishing that sometimes creates this identity crisis that if you don't have a book out every single year, you're not a real writer. Which both simply isn't true and also isn't how the ebbs and flows of creativity and the publishing industry work—no matter how often writers are pressured to think that they are. Nobody is asking George R.R. Martin if he is still a writer. Taking time is part of the writing process. 💛
Oh, that's an interesting point about the output pace in kidlit versus other audiences. I think that might be what my daughter was picking up on too. She knows that every 1-2 years, I typically have a book come out and it's now been... FOUR since my last release. 🙈
Right? I know one author who transitioned to writing adult after a long time in kidlit/YA, and part of the reason was that she wanted more time to write books, and also to write books that deserved to have that much time taken. To me, the fan, her books are magnificent, but I'm sure the ability to tell *herself* she has time is invaluable.
Think of Erin Morgenstern! No one was like "omg I don't care because you took so long." Or Andre Dubus III. Even now I know him as "the guy who wrote 'House of Sand and Fog,' and when I heard him as a keynote speaker, he was still finishing up the book that came out in 2018, five years after his last one, which came out five years after his previous, which was *nine* years after HOSAF. He joked that his agent was at their wit's end but somehow people still wanted to read what he wrote.
Sure, it helps that HOSAF was a smash hit with movie money to pay for his time. ;) And The Night Circus kept Erin M in cash for a while (not like, JKR cash, but probably livable). We don't all get smash hits. I wish we could give all writers that kind of time, but every writer can give herself that kind of grace!
I needed this reminder too <3 For writing and for self. I've been trying to remind myself to speak more kindly to myself, and now that I'm more mindful of it, it's shocking to hear how I think to myself and the sharp contract to how encouraging I'll be to others
omg this! "But the thing about her asking it, rather than my own subconscious, was that I had to answer with kindness. The answer was delivered with a sort of care, honesty, optimism, and encouragement that I rarely manage when speaking to myself." I am such a mean boss to myself.
When my second traditionally published novel and short story collection both came out in 2015, I really thought I’d broken through some barrier and that things would just keep getting even better. You mentioned things being a “roller coaster,” and that feels so accurate. I didn’t break through any barrier, and only nine years later am I realizing how naive it was of me to think a writing career would (or SHOULD) always be an upward slope. Even though I was writing and getting manuscripts finished, I wasted a lot of these past nine years letting insecurities eat away at me. During that time I moderated dozens of panels at writer events, and I can’t tell you how many times it was hard to stand in front of a crowd wondering why anyone should take me seriously as some expert to oversee those conversations and guide the discussion when my own career felt like it was going nowhere. Even now, I’m still trying to rewire my thinking.
Nope, it's never a steady uphill slope. Not even for the super successful writers out there. Hills and valleys always.
Thanks for sharing your experiences here, Bill. I have to continually work to "rewire" my thinking as you put it. It's funny; I never speak to friends the way I speak to myself. I'm definitely my own worse critic and I tend to hold myself to unrealistic expectations. (Clearly I'm not alone here.)
I needed to hear this today - thank you!
xoxo,
Fellow Writer
Thanks friend. So glad it resonated.
If you write, you are a writer, yes! But I think for traditionally published authors, particularly in kidlit and genre spaces and particularly with writers of marginalized identities, there is a pressure to be constantly creating and publishing that sometimes creates this identity crisis that if you don't have a book out every single year, you're not a real writer. Which both simply isn't true and also isn't how the ebbs and flows of creativity and the publishing industry work—no matter how often writers are pressured to think that they are. Nobody is asking George R.R. Martin if he is still a writer. Taking time is part of the writing process. 💛
Oh, that's an interesting point about the output pace in kidlit versus other audiences. I think that might be what my daughter was picking up on too. She knows that every 1-2 years, I typically have a book come out and it's now been... FOUR since my last release. 🙈
Which is a long time in kidlit... and totally normal in literary fiction or, like, nonfiction work!
Right? I know one author who transitioned to writing adult after a long time in kidlit/YA, and part of the reason was that she wanted more time to write books, and also to write books that deserved to have that much time taken. To me, the fan, her books are magnificent, but I'm sure the ability to tell *herself* she has time is invaluable.
Think of Erin Morgenstern! No one was like "omg I don't care because you took so long." Or Andre Dubus III. Even now I know him as "the guy who wrote 'House of Sand and Fog,' and when I heard him as a keynote speaker, he was still finishing up the book that came out in 2018, five years after his last one, which came out five years after his previous, which was *nine* years after HOSAF. He joked that his agent was at their wit's end but somehow people still wanted to read what he wrote.
Sure, it helps that HOSAF was a smash hit with movie money to pay for his time. ;) And The Night Circus kept Erin M in cash for a while (not like, JKR cash, but probably livable). We don't all get smash hits. I wish we could give all writers that kind of time, but every writer can give herself that kind of grace!
I needed this reminder too <3 For writing and for self. I've been trying to remind myself to speak more kindly to myself, and now that I'm more mindful of it, it's shocking to hear how I think to myself and the sharp contract to how encouraging I'll be to others
100% this. If a friend talked to me the way I talked to myself, I would stop being friends with that person!
We need to set healthy boundaries with ourselves!!
omg this! "But the thing about her asking it, rather than my own subconscious, was that I had to answer with kindness. The answer was delivered with a sort of care, honesty, optimism, and encouragement that I rarely manage when speaking to myself." I am such a mean boss to myself.
Totally needed to hear this today. Thank you.
You’re welcome! So glad it resonated.